Guardian (The Guardian Trilogy) by Sara Mack

Author:Sara Mack [Mack, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Sara Mack
Published: 2013-06-24T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

James is late. Very late. Anxiety starts to bubble in my chest. The confidence I was feeling in proving that Dane is just a friend is beginning to wane; maybe James doesn’t see it that way.

If he saw it at all.

I haven’t heard from him once today, which is troubling. Usually, if he sees something he doesn’t like, he lets me know. Not that I’m naïve to think holding Dane’s hand wouldn’t set him off, but the end result was positive. Dane’s just trying to be a good friend to me.

It’s after midnight, and I’m starting to get restless. What if James is truly angry? Anxiety scoots over and gives guilt a seat in my heart. When I curl up in bed, I lie in the darkness, my mind creating a web of unpleasant scenarios. The more I think about it, the harder it is for me to breathe. I drift unwillingly in and out of sleep. The scenario I fear the most keeps haunting me.

The one where James decides never to return.

My shivering body wakes me. I reach to pull my comforter higher around my shoulders when my hand passes through noticeably cooler air behind me. My eyes snap open.

“James?” I whisper.

“Sorry I’m late.”

I quickly roll over and blindly throw my arms around his cool form.

“Um, you’re hugging my throat.”

“Sorry,” I release him. “I was so worried you weren’t coming. Hold on.”

I lean over to turn on the light. I need to see him. When I lie down to look at him, my heart plummets. He looks tired, worn, and sad. He looks broken. Instantly I curl myself against his stomach, and I feel his arms wrap around me. I’m scared to ask him what is wrong.

James’ voice cracks. “I can’t visit you for awhile.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My gut tells me this is all my fault. I’ve brought this on myself. “What can I do to make it right?”

“Nothing,” he responds flatly. “There’s nothing you can do.”

I stop breathing at the realization of his anger. My worst fear is coming true. My mind scrambles to find the right words to change his mind; to make him stay.

“Please let me explain…” I choke. “Today was…I shouldn’t have….”

The chill intensifies under my chin and I instinctively know to raise my head. I look James in the eye as he searches my face. “Go on.”

I take a shaky breath. “I was trying to prove to you that Dane is only a friend, that he wants nothing more. He didn’t try anything. I knew you’d be watching, so I agreed so you would see…”

James’ face twists.

“He only held my hand, that was all. To be kind, to calm me after my crying fit, to let me pretend he was you…please…don’t leave me over this.”

His face falls. “He wants to pretend to be me?”

I realize how that must have sounded. “No, no, not like that. Just for that moment. Didn’t you see? Weren’t you watching?”

He closes his eyes as if he’s trying to erase what I’ve said.

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